We walk into some occasions, like a blind date, with high expectations, only to find that we are uncomfortable or let down. Other times, we're just not feeling what we are about to go do from the get go but we've already committed ourselves. Either way, you've done it again. You've found yourself in a situation that you'd rather not be in.
In the name of self care, you have to know when and how to remove yourself from a situation that just isn't working for you.
There's a brilliant song that sums it up beautifully. It goes a little something like this:
Should I stay or should I go now?
If I go, there will be trouble.
If I stay, there will be double.
Wise words. Here are 3 ways to graciously bow out of any situation
1. The "ghost now, explain later" approach. If you are feeling stressed or aggravated and the situation that you hoped would help you get your mind off of what is bothering you is...bothering you, you have a right, by the power vested in you because of self care, to (politely) excuse yourself. It may not be the best choice for every occasion (see #2) but you do not owe anyone an explanation that is being communicated through frustration or discomfort. Collect your thoughts when you are feeling better and sort it out (apologetically).If it feels right to leave and wrong to stay, ghost now, explain later. Your real friends will forgive you when you laugh about it next week.
2. The "let me take a minute" approach. Sometimes we just need to remove ourselves temporarily to sort out what we're feeling. Get to the bathroom, go outside for some fresh air, move to the other end of the bar. Changing the scenery may change the way you feel about the whole thing. If this doesn't work, refer to #1.
3. The "I'm ghosting, no explanation required" approach. The bottom line is that you do not owe anyone an explanation if you don't feel right in a situation. If your gut is telling your to go, then go. Tell your friends, of course, just so they know you're safe. It's possible that they're feeling the same way and they might go, too. Other than that, you have a right to remove yourself whenever, wherever.
It’s important to be able to read yourself and understand what you need at that moment. A huge component of the self care movement is getting to know yourself on a deeper level. It's facilitating a very personal understanding of yourself, what you like, what your limits are, how and when you feel like the best version of yourself.
This is not easy and it doesn't get easier if we are always bending to what we think is expected of us instead of what we really need or want. This doesn't mean that there's never compromise or that we have to kick and scream to get our way. We know those notions are juvenile and it's not what we're talking about here. We're talking about progressing toward a place where we know and love ourselves so that we can shine that love on those around us.
Helping you help yourself