I have been working on a book for the better part of this past year. The whole process was very transformative and allowed me to open up about a scary event that happened to me 12 years ago.
When I started writing, I didn't know in what direction the book would wind up going. I knew I had a story to tell. I knew that what I had suffered led me down a path riddled with anxiety and self-doubt. I also knew that I never processed the emotions around the event and I certainly never examined its impact on my life and my relationships.
Then, the weirdest thing happened. I was in the kitchen making my daughter tea and it hit me. As I dropped in the tea bag and watched the hot water turn a beautiful shade of pomegranate, I realized that it was gratifying to watch tea permeate water and change its color. That's it? Yes! That's it! I hadn't understood before but stopping to notice that I liked something was a novel thought.
For one, taking a second and noticing something as simple as water changing color was beneficial in and of itself because I was PRESENT. I don't think I had actually been present for a long while. I was always running, always under pressure, nothing was ever done or good enough. Was my lack of presence a result of not dealing with trauma? Perhaps.
Also, noticing something that I liked and checking in with myself on that point was LIFE CHANGING. It was like I was reintroducing myself to MYSELF. Hi me, it's nice to meet me. For the first time in a long time, I saw myself as a person with feelings and opinions and VALUE <mind explodes>.
Am I the first to have this epiphany? Nope. Did it mean the world to me when I had it and started to believe in myself, trust myself and have compassion for myself? Yep!
My book is about SELF LOVE. About loving yourself and coming back from some kind of trauma. It's not about being selfish but it does focus on caring about how you FEEL.
On this blog, I've decided to share more about my book, my story and about the pillars of self care that I use to get myself out of a dark place and to learn to love myself again.
I will talk about meditation, diet and exercise and the small acts of gratitude that we can offer ourselves on a daily basis.
How will these small changes and this road back to our true selves strengthen the bonds we have with others? After all, that is the goal of self care, to understand and care about ourselves so that we can have stronger relationships. So that we can better understand the joys and pains of our partners, our kids, our friends.
With (self) love,